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I just discovered a screenshot of a conversation with a friend from March 18, 2018. He told me that I liked my boss because I kept bringing him up. I was taken aback by his statement. My boss wasn’t my type, what the hell kind of statement was that. Turns out he was right. He told me I liked my boss on my ex’s birthday. Coincidence? Probably. The universe works in mysterious ways, though. Our conversation was brought on by my “psychic” dream. I saw my boss and he had just gotten a haircut. Up to that point, I had only seen my boss with his long curls resting at his shoulder. He doesn’t offer information about his life at work so he never told anyone he was getting a haircut or anything. Maybe I subconsciously picked up on his haircut thoughts and dreamt about it. Maybe I just dreamt about him because I started to like him and the contents of the dream was purely coincidental. I hate this uncertainty. It’s driving me crazy. I just wanna talk to you about it to make it clear and just find out where you lie in the grand scheme of things. Do you have feelings for me? Oh man, I suck at communication. I should’ve laid it all out before. I don’t know what I’m doing. Does anyone? My insecurities are drowning me in an ocean of sadness keeping me wide awake. A stupid dream triggered these waves of intrusive thoughts. You breaking my heart, me not over things, your lack of initiative to comfort me. Oh, it just all scares me. I’m afraid of truly liking you. Being so vulnerable. Defenseless. Oh, man. Gotta risk it for the biscuit, they say. I have strong feelings for you. Now I’m having trouble sleeping, so I know it’s bad. I just want to sleep next to you again and feel your body’s warmth. I can’t even think of metaphors right now. I just love the way you can continue talking about anything. I love our prolonged eye contact. I can’t wait to see you again. You are the soul I’ve been looking for. A person who embodies my ideal principles and ethics. I had given up on the thought that anyone like that existed. Even I had failed my own fantasy. You’re a breath of fresh air. I think you’re genuinely good and respectful. I love your company. You make me want to be a better person. I am smitten once again. I just love forbidden fruit, don’t I? I keep dreaming about him. It’s always so intimate yet not exactly sexual. Flirty eye contact, skipping heart beats, and “accidental” touching. I just love your soul. They way you help people and your unmatched ethics. It’s admirable. I want to explore you.
Loya
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